No, Kevin and I haven’t filled our backyard with livestock but I am reading the story of Moses in Exodus 3-4. I think I get Moses.
I feel Moses’s dread in Exodus 4:13 when he says “Lord, please! Send anyone else.” I also understand his resignation in verse 14 when he realized he ticked God off and says “All right”.
Moses’s days shepherding were calm. He had it good. Now God was disrupting.
Intentional living for Jesus isn’t easy; Perseverance Required! But perseverance is like cleaning up after a toddler, necessary at the same time useless.
And then there’s the waiting. Uncertainty is wearing. All the trying, resulting in not failing but also not flourishing makes quitting tempting. Personally, I start yearning for a cozy mountain getaway. A place with no complications, beautiful sunshine, only happy people, and joyful circumstances.
Moses spends 40 years in a “mountain getaway”. Growing up he was an adopted, rich boy who didn’t really fit in. He tried to use his opportunities to help his fellow Hebrews but received no respect. Then he kills an Egyptian! Of course someone saw him so now he’s ridiculed by those he tried to help, and “gets the heck out of Dodge”.
While in hiding he meets his future father in law, gets married, has kids, and and again becomes involved in his new “adopted” family’s line of business; sheep herding.
All appears calm. Safe. Maybe not exciting but I feel a sense of contentment in the story. Maybe it’s the first time Moses felt like he belonged or was needed.
My job is longarm quilting. Ninety percent of my work is custom. The remaining ten percent is all over quilting, no ruler required, very little creativity just mind relaxation. All over quilting is like shepherding for Moses but in the ninety percent category. Yes he could do more but why. Except for some exasperating sheep, life was good enough.
Then God shakes things up.
Frolicking sheep get ignored due to a burning bush.
In the Sunday School stories this event is always happy and exciting. God meets Moses, speaks to him from the bush and calls Moses to an almost super hero task. Reality is Moses didn’t know the Bible story until he had to live it out. And, I don’t know about you, but the idea of walking 30,000 or over 2 million ( the actual number is debated by scholars) people through a dessert, no baths for weeks, and not even a convince store available doesn’t make me want to volunteer for his position.
God tells Moses He has a job for him. Since now Moses has perfected his herding skills, he gets to take them to a new level; leading his ancestral people. Moses is honored with rescuing his people from “the evil bear” demolishing God’s flock. Moses can stand proud proving God spared his life as a baby not for luxury but for a purpose. Moses is given an incredible task which holds unimaginable miracles and deep intimacy with God.
But Moses didn’t want to go. Oh he gave great excuses, but the core of his unwillingness was he liked his comfort.
Ding! That’s me. I find I want the fellowship with God, the appearance of busy for God, but do I want the sacrifice real intentional living for Him requires? A big part of me just wants to stay comfortable in Median.
I know how Moses’s story ends. Yes he saw many fantastic miracles but he also experienced a lot of discomfort. God took forty years preparing him with stupid sheep (at least that what people who know sheep say they are) getting him ready to lead rebellious (stupid?) people.
What makes obedience possible? Jesus.
Is my desire of financial freedom for the sake of giving more for my Savior’s use? Or is it to attain the peaceful looking life I see in magazines and on tv? Jesus left His Median. Putting the limits of humanity on Himself wasn’t comfortable. He did it for me. I needed a Savior. We need a Savior. Gratitude trumps comfort, equals sacrifice.
Oh Father, I praise you for your sacrifice. I praise you for you are merciful and full of grace.
I’m sorry for my selfishness. I lay myself before You, feeling the power of Your forgiving blood cover me.
Help me! I am weak. Without thinking I try and slip out from under Your sacrifice to conquer on my own. I trust my own wisdom, desire my own way, my own glory, my own comfort. Wake me up to my motivations. Open my eyes to when I’ve made myself my own god.
You are Almighty. You are Immanuel. You are the fire that can burn in me not to devour but reveals Yourself.
I will say to You, “You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalms 91:2).
Amen.
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